OT For all the Dads and Moms....

Discussion in 'General' started by blueshadow, Dec 31, 2009.

  1. blueshadow

    blueshadow Just Shuffling along Staff Member Moderator

    Messages:
    12,321
    Likes Received:
    303
    Joined:
    Aug 5, 2005
    Location:
    North of Austin, Texas
    Help... Momma and I need a good night sleep. Caila goes to sleep between 9 and 10 most nights, but usually wakes up in the middle of the night and either is up for the rest of the night or at the least two hours... I have enough trouble sleeping anyways. Any "wisdom" anyone can share for getting them to sleep all night?
     
  2. reidjazz

    reidjazz Very well Known Member

    Messages:
    1,045
    Likes Received:
    2
    Joined:
    Jan 31, 2007
    Location:
    5,280 feet.
    How old is your daughter? Maybe have her read a chapter of A History of Western Music by Donald J. Grout...always put me to sleep while in college... :sleepy1:
     
  3. blueshadow

    blueshadow Just Shuffling along Staff Member Moderator

    Messages:
    12,321
    Likes Received:
    303
    Joined:
    Aug 5, 2005
    Location:
    North of Austin, Texas
    LOL...

    She'll one next Wednesday :)
     
  4. 9Lb Tongue

    9Lb Tongue Oily Beau Hunk

    Messages:
    10,581
    Likes Received:
    50
    Joined:
    Aug 4, 2005
    Location:
    San Antonio, Tejas
    Benadryl !!!

    Just kidding... DONT do that.


    Chris my man. Ive been a dad for 3 years and I STILL dont get a FULL 8 hrs a night.

    You just get used to it.

    Listen to our nightly ritual...

    get home around 6:15. We eat and play for about an hour. My wife and I switch off bathing him
    depending on his mood and who he wants.

    After that, he gets a snack and I brush his teeth. We TRY to get him down by 8:30.

    he wants me or my wife to read at least 2 books and then he wants a made up story.

    If not the books and story, he wants to watch episodes of old Gumby shows and then a montage of NASCAR crashes on Youtube on my laptop in bed.

    By the time all of this is done and he stops rolling around and putting his feet into my ribs, its 10pm.

    half the time I fall asleep before he does and then I wake up at 12 or 1 and Im wide awake after a 2 or 3 hr late night nap. When my wife does it, she is out for the night in his bed. he has a full size bed in his room now. he did the crib for about 2 years and the baby bed for about 2 months. he wanted to sleep in a big boy bed as he calls it.

    Theres a point where you just give in to whatever just so its not a struggle.

    he used to go down by himself in the crib. But now it just takes him forever to go to bed.

    Our goal this next few months is to get him to lay in bed on his own and fall asleep after story time.

    WE never ever let him sleep in our bed. Its bad enough that the wife and I practically never go to bed together talk about birth control. We have to sneak in alone time when ever we can.

    if you know what I mean...best advice. Tire her out in the evening, make sure her belly is full and get aher on a set time every night. Kids need a schedule. Stick to it and be nice, but firm when she start talking and walking and demanding her way.

    hes worth every minute of lost sleep. and so is Caila, Im sure
     
  5. sheridan

    sheridan Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    269
    Likes Received:
    1
    Joined:
    Aug 5, 2005
    Location:
    Pittsburgh
    I know it might sound weird, but my wife and I have always had an air cleaner in our sons rooms ever since they were babies. The white noise from the air cleaner must calm them because they always slept good. It also blocks out other noises that might wake them. Plus it cleans the air! What a concept, huh?
     
  6. Troyh

    Troyh Team DFO Staff Member Moderator

    Messages:
    5,438
    Likes Received:
    6
    Joined:
    Aug 5, 2005
    Location:
    Hills of Southern Indiana, Nutopia
    Chris, I hear ya' brother. Our two year old, after sleeping soundly, now FIGHTS to go to bed, crying, "book me, daddy", and everything else. We both look like we've been up since 2008, (in a way we have), and I've grown to love my 'baggy eyes with a decoration of dark circles'.

    We too have tried a lot of different approaches and none seem to help, although the baby cereal right before bed helps.
     
  7. Juan Valdez

    Juan Valdez Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    378
    Likes Received:
    65
    Joined:
    Sep 2, 2009
    Location:
    Montana
    I'd try putting her to bed earlier for a week or so and see how it goes. At that age by 9 or 10 at night she could be a little wiped out, overtired and generally uncooperative which makes it hard for her to sleep. My kids are 4 and 6 and it's lights out by 8. How is she napping during the day?

    Hang in there. It gets easier!
     
  8. DrumBob

    DrumBob DFO Master

    Messages:
    8,676
    Likes Received:
    33
    Joined:
    Aug 7, 2005
    Location:
    northwest NJ
    Oh my God...I remember this scenario quite well. Carianne was a lousy sleeper. For the first two years of her life, my wife and I got almost no sleep. We wanted to pack her up and ship her off to somewhere far away for a few weeks. It put a lot of strain on our marriage. We had to bring her in bed with us to get her to go back to sleep, which neither of us liked. Finally, when she was old enough to understand, we bought a small fold-up mattress and told her it was her "special bed." When she woke up during the night, she could come in our room and sleep on the floor next to us. THAT worked. She finally started sleeping better and not waking us up. She used her special bed until she was at least five, off and on.

    I'd say that white noise idea might be a good one.

    Good luck, dad. Eventually, they grow out of it, but you might not sleep for a couple of years!! :wink:
     
  9. blueshadow

    blueshadow Just Shuffling along Staff Member Moderator

    Messages:
    12,321
    Likes Received:
    303
    Joined:
    Aug 5, 2005
    Location:
    North of Austin, Texas
    we keep music on XM Jazz, but maybe the white noise is a better idea... tried the spa channel on XM for a while. I think also the neighbors leave in the middle of the night sometimes and I think their car wakes her. Have thought about some clear sound vinyl to put on her window from www.soundsuckers.com


    Her naps vary but she usually naps 1-2 hours a day. I'm affraid she is way too much like me...no schedules, sleep when your sleepy, and mostly not going to tell either of what to do.

    Getting her to bed isn't a problem getting her to take more than a "nap" at a time is.... won't sleep more than 4 hours at a time at night most nights...

    I know it will get easier (well until she's 16!.... thinking of planting tall cactus outside her window :) )

    ...and like Blaine mentioned she is worth every second of it!
     
  10. franke

    franke DFO Master

    Messages:
    6,138
    Likes Received:
    228
    Joined:
    Aug 10, 2005
    Location:
    Los Angeles, CA
    I have three kids. This is what I have learned:

    Children need structure.

    The parent must be in control and provide structure. Small children are only capable of small choices, i.e. chocolate or strawberry? Winnie the Pooh PJs or Barney?

    Children who miss naps will take their "nap" at 8:00 and wake up a few hours later. Some kids don't outgrow naps until they're four or five.

    If a child regularly naps but still wakes up in the middle of the night it could be because they are cold (i.e. kicked off blankets), if potty-trained, have to urinate (but are too scared to get up in the middle of the night), or some other reason. Focusing on the reason is only effective if it is the same reason most or all of the time. But what's most important is that we teach a child to self-soothe and one way to do that is not to respond immediately each and every time they wake in the middle of the night.

    Do not feed children when they wake up in the middle of the night. Children, like dogs, are easily conditioned through repetition, so if they get used to the idea of milk and graham crackers, they'll wake up for it every night. I am no different. If, for example, I knew that there would be a cold beer and a bowl of peanuts available each night at 3:00 am, I'd wake up too.

    Do not play games in bed with your child or allow a child to play in bed prior to sleep. Beds are for sleeping, not playing. Limit the number or time spent on stories. One kiddie book should be enough. We used to use the term "go to sleep" as if "sleep' was a place, not a state.

    Drumbob's suggestions about "special beds" and white noise are ones that I have also found to be effective sometimes.

    Finally, make a plan and stick to it. The moment you give in you lose whatever momentum you gain.
     
  11. gezz

    gezz DFO Master

    Messages:
    7,014
    Likes Received:
    221
    Joined:
    Aug 28, 2005
    Location:
    West Coast Scotland
    not funny at all.. Chris, my Daughter Pamela would NOT fall asleep ever without a fight.. man it was stressful at times. I would basically lie with her and she would fight the sleep for 2-3 hours.. that carried on for a year and a half to two years. :icon_smile:
    My other Daughter wanted to go to bed and fell asleep instantly.. i miss those days now!!!!! :sad:

    but she will grow out of it.. no matter what we suggest every child is different.. i do think Frank e is spot on..mine grew into these: lol
     
  12. jazzdrummer

    jazzdrummer Percussion Specialist

    Messages:
    4,600
    Likes Received:
    17
    Joined:
    Feb 28, 2006
    Location:
    West Virginia
    There's some really good advice from everyone here. :occasion5: Every child is different and we as parents need to adjust and be the parent!

    I have two boys. 5 & 15. Both very different in their habits.
     
  13. Troyh

    Troyh Team DFO Staff Member Moderator

    Messages:
    5,438
    Likes Received:
    6
    Joined:
    Aug 5, 2005
    Location:
    Hills of Southern Indiana, Nutopia
    Excellent advice from Frank and others on the post.

    Our situation is a little bit different, as some of you remember, we brought Piper
    home from Kungor, Perm Region, Russia, last January when she was just over a year
    old. She had been institutionalized in her habits and we've had to walk a fine
    line to break some of the self soothing habits but not go too far. She used to
    rock back and forth at any sign of change and was not used to any kind of real
    prolonged contact. We also had to work on bonding issues.

    Now, I think she just 'works us like a charm'. :icon_smile:
     
  14. eddiej

    eddiej DFO Master

    Messages:
    3,206
    Likes Received:
    54
    Joined:
    Aug 17, 2005
    Location:
    Lower Makefield, PA
    Our daughter is adopted from China (we got her at 10 months), and we've had our issues with bedtime as well. When Hailey was that age we got her into bed by 8:30 or so. I usually gave her a bottle, and at bath-time my wife and I worked as a tag-team. The 8:30 bedtime was good because she would usually sleep until 6 or so. At 10 months we caught the tail-end of the 2am feedings.

    The only real sleep issues we had were that she would occasionally get night terrors. She would start to scream & shout in the middle of the night, and as hard as we would try we couldn't wake her. In the morning she had no memory of it whatsoever. She seems to have grown out of it. Now at age 9 we have to put up with the typical stall tactics that most kids pull.

    Keeping you daughter up until 10 may be causing her to get a bit of a 2nd wind. I agree with trying to get her to bed earlier.
     
  15. hepkat

    hepkat DFO Veteran

    Messages:
    2,166
    Likes Received:
    18
    Joined:
    Aug 24, 2005
    Location:
    Mpls
    Make a point of getting her outside during the day. At that age, everything is geared towards brain development. The more stimulation -- sights, sounds, people, fresh air -- the better. And the better she'll sleep at night. Avoid napping anywhere near bedtime. If nursing, be vigilant of mother's diet, since certain foods have an effect. And at 1 year, teething is gonna be an issue.
     
  16. Drumstyx7a

    Drumstyx7a Team DFO

    Messages:
    10,849
    Likes Received:
    3
    Joined:
    Aug 5, 2005
    Location:
    Greenville, Texas, United States
    My older son Robert (formerly known here as Perpetual Student) would nap in the morning and a bit in the afternoon with his mother. At age 1 though there was a specific schedule and it was religiously adhered to. He was nursed at first but by 4 months he wasn't interested any more and went straight to cold whole milk. That was the inducement to hit rack at that time. He was also then and still is a person who will crash out early. It takes a heck of a party to keep him up past 8 even now.

    My younger son Joseph (formerly known here as Techno Teen or just Techno) would not take afternoon naps and he was very much a night person. Stuff would wake him up. Still had a schedule just like his brother. But with him, his mother was sometimes up late at night and she would watch reruns of MASH and Arsenio when she was pregnant with him. We think that may have been an issue. He took on her body schedule.

    Frank has it nailed with the schedule thing in my opinion. If you haven't had one, now is the time to start and the schedule should be the same day in and day out all day long. Some kids do take forever it seems to get a night groove going.

    I also think that the white noise idea is a good one... both boys grew up with ceiling fans in their room and the noise helped other sounds get canceled out. Also, check the diet if Kimberly is nursing. I'd look back to see if Kimberly herself is a night person. If she stayed up late while carrying the baby, that could be something to look at. Check for teething and also this thought ... is she fully on solid food now??? If not, as soon as you get her on that full time I think you'll see more snooze time.


    Robb
     
  17. CSR

    CSR Member since May 2000

    Messages:
    6,171
    Likes Received:
    504
    Joined:
    Aug 5, 2005
    Location:
    - Snow Belt, New York State, USA, Earth
    All good ideas. We found if our kids wouldn't GET to sleep...a different problem than yours....a car ride always did it. Get 'em to sleep, carefully carry them in to bed, and they were gone.

    When they're teenagers and even into their 20's, they sleep a good 10 - 12 a night...if allowed by parents/school/work/hunger pangs.
     
  18. Drumstyx7a

    Drumstyx7a Team DFO

    Messages:
    10,849
    Likes Received:
    3
    Joined:
    Aug 5, 2005
    Location:
    Greenville, Texas, United States
    My room mate suggested that if she's doing solid food stuff try cereal as an evening meal before putting her down.

    That is what worked well with both her kids at that age.

    I even tried to contact my ex to try to remember what all we did but she wasn't where I could talk with her at the moment. She'll reply by email later though.


    Robb
     
  19. blueshadow

    blueshadow Just Shuffling along Staff Member Moderator

    Messages:
    12,321
    Likes Received:
    303
    Joined:
    Aug 5, 2005
    Location:
    North of Austin, Texas
    Thanks for all the advice... she went down at 8:30 tonight...here's hoping to a quiet night. We keep telling her Granny to get her up at 8 each morning and try to get her nap at noon... but haven't gotten there yet.

    She is teething right now which I'm sure contributes to the problem. We ran around alot today (Ikea sucks by the way...nothing but crap) and she only got a 30 minute nap so maybe she's out for the night...
     
  20. Drumstyx7a

    Drumstyx7a Team DFO

    Messages:
    10,849
    Likes Received:
    3
    Joined:
    Aug 5, 2005
    Location:
    Greenville, Texas, United States
    Granny needs to take the youngun' for a couple of nights. Bet the schedule gets followed then!!



    Robb
     

Share This Page