OT Joke Thread

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That reminds me of one.

Two rowboats pass each other in the English channel, one with one man and two women in it and the other with just one man in it. The latter shouts to the former "Could ya lend me one of your oars"? The man in the first boat yells back "Them's not oars, one's me wife and one's me sister".
 
After a long night at the bar, a guy invites his friend to see his new apartment.
As they enter, the friend notices a large gong against the wall and asks, "What's with the gong?"
The guy says, "Oh, that's not a gong, that's my talking clock".
He picks up the mallet and hits the gong.
From the other side of the wall they both hear, "Shut up! It's 3 in the goddamn morning!"
 
Wonder if something got lost in translation somewhere?

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From Norm Macdonald. RIP.

Now Norm I remember years ago you told me that you were there for the birth of your son, and I'll always remember that you said it was the most uplifting and exciting thing you had ever participated in.

NM - Yes!
But then what happened?
NM - I smoked crystal meth.
 
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The band leader turned to the saxophone player and said, "I see that you are a jailhouse saxophonist!"

Jailhouse Saxophonist?", the Sax musician replied. How did you know?

"Because you are behind four bars and without a key", said the band leader.
 
A man standing on the corner looks down the street to see and funeral procession about to pass by.
In the procession are two Hearses, a man with a dog and 100 men in the procession.

He steps off the curb and asks the man with the dog "What's going on here?"
He answers, "It's my wife and my mother in law...my dog bit them"
He asks "Can I borrow the dog?"
He says "Get in line."
 
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